Rant

I hate everyone.

Not in a slit-my-wrist-fuck-my-life sort of way.

Everyone is just so damned frustrating.

The people I love the most send me insane.

My best friend does not believe that I love her and like her. Like she’s fucking incapable of accepting genuine care. She’s always asking if I’m mad at her, if she upsets me, if she’s done something wrong, if I still like her.

How much have I screwed-up that the bitch won’t believe a simple, “Yes”?

I have tried long explanations. Short powerful statements.

Nothing gets through to her.

And him.

I love him.

I’ve given so much to him, and I can’t wait to give him more.

But dear god, he has the ability to piss me off because of his behavior towards everyone else. He thinks so rationally, to the point where everyone else is all, “What the fuck? Back off! It’s not that serious!”

He fights constantly with everyone.

And yet he stays all calm and shit, which pisses people off more.

And he won’t get mad at me.

Even if I started a fight.

Example: we were all sitting around talking about making rules for the club that we are the officers of, and I say a rule that is intentionally vague and covers a huge area of problems. He starts bitching about it, and so the others rush to defend me. So he argues with them over the wording instead of me. I made the wording!

And I can’t yell at him, because when I get angry, I hyperbolize and regret it later.

And I can’t tell at them, because they call me biased. Which I am.

Why won’t people fucking grow up?

Plaid

No matter just how hard I try
You never seem to look at me
I could wear a rainbow wig
And you would look right past
You don't see me at all, do you?
No, you see many other things
But the girl in the plaid skirt
That reaches the floor instead
Of brushing against her thighs
Hair pulled up inside a fedora
Glasses sliding down her nose
Shirt that is comfortably loose
Loud and obnoxious, but silent
You make her quiet and yet
You seem unaware of her

You don't notice that when
You walk into the room, I
Am the one who stares at
The black boots on my feet?

You don't see that when
You trip and fall on the stairs,
Splaying your belongings,
I always offer to help you up?

You don't realize that when
You get talked about by them,
I am the one who “accidentally”
Knocks them over or spills?

No, of course not, completely blind
Unable to see right in front of you

Love is like plaid
When it matches, it’s perfect
When it doesn’t, you look like an idiot

Do you ever think...

...that we'll ever actually end sexism?

I mean, really, think about it. We act all the time like the world will eventually be equal.

Feminists fight for equal rights for women.

I hate feminists for one reason: they're trying to make women equal to men.

As if men shouldn't be equal to women.

Women fought to wear pants, and now we can. But if a man wears a skirt... *gasps*

Lesbo girls? A-okay! Most teen boys consider them hot.

But gay guys? That's a big no-no.

Men revel in sex. Really. Think about it. Men have historically been more allowed to sexual disobedience. If men have reputations for being rakes and scoundrels, women are always drawn to them for being "bad boys."

If a woman had a similar reputation, she'd be a whore, and that's the end of that.

Graham crackers. Y'know, beloved crusts of s'mores? They were invented because men needed to be stopped from jacking off. Honestly. The crackers were invented to find a way to control male urges. Because masturbation was a waste of sperm.

Men get all the focus because they can't control themselves.

Women refuse to try and drag men down to their level. They shouldn't have to fight to break past the glass ceiling. They should be tearing the men down, shattering the ceiling as they fall from their thrones.

But no, that'll never happen.

Yeah, I dunno, I felt like ranting.

Verb.

Lace Covered Bedroom

Lace Covered Bedroom

I’m feeding my sin
As soon as it begins
It’s not healthy, I know
But it feels right in the snow
To shape angels in the ground
Of the seventh and final crown
That wears on my head in a deadly weight
This lust that I have come to hate

I’m crying my eyes
On the floor of my lies
Those that I deny of
That I’ve chosen over love
Scratching my arms in fury
Peeling the scabs I need to bury
To get them away from all that I am
My lustful thoughts which curve my plans

I’m waiting for pain
To find me once again
It’s depressing, I know
But it’s an easy way to show
All things that are in my head
Making me pray that I was dead
To avoid this place I made for myself
A lace covered bedroom known as hell

I’m suff’ring precise
A poisoned paradise
A hellfire of want
Hiding within the last hunt
For lost meaning I’ve not found
A blackened snow falls all around
Padding my sorrow and pleas’ring my sin
I wish ‘twould end as it begins

I’m living in hell
I know it all so well
It finds me when I hide
It reads all of me inside
It finds my unending lust
It overrides reason and trust
It knows why I suffer in hurt and cry
It can tell me how I act and why


I’m open to it
Revealing all the shit
That holds me down so tight
And releases me at night
Only to know what I’ve done
How much I’ve lost and all I won
Which seems so small when compared to the loss
Of things that I never knew the cost

I’m breathing my last
Trying to get me passed
All the crap I’ve endured
Nothing less and nothing more
Punished for no self-control
My relaxation took its toll
My lust makes me the devil’s fav’rite pawn
I’d rather die than continue on

Blue Eyed White Dragon

Blue Eyed White Dragon

It drives me insane
How calm you appear
When you say my name
I freak out over here
Just a little attention
Goes a long way
I have to break this tension
‘Cause I’ve only got one more day

Then you’re gone
Then I’m gone
And we must start over
I hope it’s done
For everyone
To see me tripping over you

I’m as good at hiding emotion
As playing Pictionary is for a blind person
I’d rather jump into the ocean
Then continue wanting and continue cursing

I have another to keep me warm
But I’m still longing for your arms
To wrap themselves around my waist
We don’t have much time to use haste
So please ease my burden before we part
Release me form this frustrating heart

And after all I try to ignore
Nothing stops this feeling anymore
Don’t act like you don’t understand
You drive me crazy with the warmth of your hand

Intro & Booby Trap

I don't really know what these thingymabobbers are for. Soooooooo, I will simply type up my randomness, especially if it rhymes. Here goes!

~*~

Booby Trap

Lying next to me
But you're not there

I killed you so long ago
When I killed me

It was an accident
I didn't mean to
Murder you

I didn't want it
But the man in green
Told me to

I was tripping in my own sort of way
He made you look like a monster
The world was spinning to the left
And the knife seemed the answer

And after I sobered up
And saw you on the floor
Covered in blood which I had spilled
No tripping anymore

The dark tones of my bass
Were a way to cover my face
My shame was overwhelming
And I fell right in

I'm afraid
I lost my way
I can't escape
What I became

Music pulls me away
Within the sounds
I can't find my hate
Until I see him

I hate him
For what he did
Tearing you from me

I can see
What is he
Calling to me

Dressed in green
Smells so good
Tempts me in ways
That he could

I fail

I failed the test he gave me
All my chances to save me
And still I fell right into
His booby trap

A steel trap on my foot
An anvil on my head
Almost like a cartoon
But in real life I'm dead